Mid-rads Update

Radiation is moving right along. I'm through 8 of the 15 whole breast treatments and my skin is slightly pink but other than that I can't tell anything is even happening. I saw the doctor today and she said that generally with this shorter course, you're almost done before skin irritation really sets in. I hope that will be true, because I sat in the waiting room today with three women near the end of the longer course and they were complaining a lot about itching and soreness. 

Here's what the machine looks like - the table moves backward onto the white circle, and that whole huge thing rotates around to either side of me during the treatment. 

I'm definitely feeling more tired than usual, which is a common side effect of radiation. Most nights I'm ready for bed at 9:30, super early for me, but during the day I don't really notice it. It's definitely not like the full body/brain fatigue that chemo caused; I just want to go to sleep earlier than usual. Hopefully this will not get worse as the treatment goes on, but if it does I'm not too worried about it. A month from now I'll be two weeks out from the end of this already, and surely on the mend by that point.

And then I guess life will just be normal again, with the exception of going in for Herceptin every 3 weeks. I'm going to barre regularly now, cooking elaborate meals again, and trying to convince friends to take Jazzercise with me. I have a weekend trip to NYC planned with my girls for August, and we've rebooked the Denmark trip for September. And, at long last, my hair is genuinely starting to grow back. It's really blonde and fine but I can see it if I look close in a mirror, and can definitely feel it. I'm unclear on how this thin blonde hair is going to transition into my regular hair (will the same hairs just start growing in red, and I'll have weird thin blonde ends?). I probably won't know for a while, I guess; it can take up to a year before your hair is back to normal, so says the internet. A woman I see every day at radiation had red hair before and it's white as it grows back in, which is not very exciting, but I guess I can always dye it if that happens to me. Regardless, THINGS ARE HAPPENING. There is light at the end of this stupid, inconvenient tunnel. Finally.

Back to Work

After a little break, I am back in treatment mode this week, but it is much, much better than that chemo business. I had my first Herceptin-only infusion on Wednesday, which I will continue to have every 3 weeks until next March. It's only 30 minutes and there are no pre-meds or bloodwork, so it was quick. (Well, at least the infusion part was - I had to wait almost an hour for the pharmacy to deliver the medicine. But I'm pretty used to that. And also who cares, because that means an extra hour of watching Gilmore Girls in a comfortable chair and not being at work.) Some people have flu-like symptoms or bone pain with Herceptin. Most people seem to have a persistently runny nose. I have had nothing. Nothing! I just feel normal. It is very exciting.

I started radiation this week, too, on Thursday. I was relieved to learn I do only have to do 20 treatments - 15 to the whole area, and 5 at the end that are concentrated on the spot where my tumor was. This means I'll be done on July 16th, and hopefully won't have serious skin problems since I'm on the shorter course. Radiation is a weird experience. It feels exactly like you're lying on a table getting a series of x-rays from a machine that pivots around above you, and takes less than 5 minutes total each time. It doesn't feel like anything is even happening. After only 2 treatments I haven't seen any skin issues at all; it's kind of creepy that something that feels so benign can potentially cause me problems. I think this phase of treatment is going to fly by. After two terrifyingly early appointments at 7:00am next week, they'll be at a nice civilized 9:45 for the rest of the time. Perfect for a quick checking of email from home before treatment and then arriving at the office at 10:00 or so. The real downside of radiation right now is that I can't use any scented or chemical-containing products anywhere in the irradiated area, which means NO DEODORANT, and it is going to be 97 degrees every single day for the forseeable future. Sorry, everyone around me.

Hair update: Still nothing. Sadface.

Overall I'm feeling good physically (although I think maybe still a little tireder than usual? It's hard to remember). I've started running a little bit and have gone back to barre classes, which are tough but not as awful as I thought they'd be. I managed to gain a good ten pounds during chemo - apparently having a milkshake whenever you feel like it and spending a week eating a Twix for an afternoon snack every single day is not a sustainable plan. It feels good to be back on track and able to exercise for real again. Hopefully soon my clothes will fit again also.

Three weeks PFC

Today I am three weeks out from my final chemo. I am still bald. 

It's getting pretty old. I don't like to be in the sun with a bald head and 100 degrees is too hot to wear a hat. I mean, not that I'd necessarily be outside in 100 degree weather anyway, but you know. A volunteer at chemo told me I'd start seeing growth at 3-4 weeks but I think that's optimistic - most people say a month is the very earliest. And people also say that it's pretty slow growth while on Herceptin, so I imagine it's going to be a while yet before I rid myself of the cancer patient look. I'm going to start taking weekly pictures, though, to mark my progress. 

I have my first Herceptin-only treatment tomorrow, so it will be interesting to see how that goes. All the doctors and nurses act like it's going to be symptomless, and for sure it will be a lot more pleasant the day of - only 30 minutes of infusion time, no bloodwork beforehand, no Benadryl and steroids. I'm going at 8:45 and then coming straight to work! 

And then I start radiation on Thursday. I don't know yet how many treatment I'll have to do, but everybody cross your fingers it's only 4 weeks!

Spa Weekend!

I decided a while back that as soon as I was through chemo, we were going to stay at one of the two five-star boutique hotels nearby. One choice was the Fearrington House, which is a bit farther away in Pittsboro, and the other was the Umstead Hotel & Spa, which is about 15 minutes from our house, in Cary. I made a reservation at the Fearrington House initially, but then learned that my incredible internet friends, who knew of this plan, got me a gift card to the Umstead, so I switched! 

When I made the reservation, there was a place to write any comments or special requests. I wrote that I would be finishing chemotherapy and we would love an extra quiet and secluded room. This is what you might call "playing the cancer card." I try not to do it! But the problem is that it is very effective. When we checked in, we learned they had upgraded us to a spa level studio suite for free. It truly was in the most secluded part of the hotel, on the garden level but the opposite end of the spa and pool, on a tiny hall with only 2 other rooms. We never saw or heard anyone else around.

The room was huge!

We had a nice patio surrounded by greenery, with a little path that led out across the lawn to the pool area.

The Umstead is 2 minutes from the highway but feels like the middle of nowhere. It's beautiful.

For dinner Friday night we went to An, which I have been wanting to try forever and is very close to the Umstead. I mentioned to my boss that we were going there and asked if I could use my corporate AmEx to pay for it and he said YES, as long as I introduced myself to the manager and asked if there was anything we could do better. Score.

They brought us an amuse bouche to start, edamame hummus with a rice cracker.

Ben ordered an appetizer with some Japanese words because it sounded fancy, but we didn't know what it was. It turned out to be a selection of pickled items, some seaweed salad, a pork bun, and two fried oysters. Jackpot!

I got a big pile of perfectly fried tempura asparagus with miso-mustard dipping sauce.

Ben ordered scallops, which are his most favorite things. They were also perfectly done. And it must be true, because he is a really harsh judge of scallop preparation.

My entree was sweet & sour shrimp, served with avocado-bacon jam and jasmine rice and coconut powder. Delicious!

The desserts were extremely complicated in addition to being tasty. Mine is chocolate cake-based.

And Ben's was "citrus."

It was a fantastic meal! And even better because it was FREE! For the record, An is very pleased with their Mutual Distributing Company rep and service.

We went back to the hotel and relaxed for a while. I was on pins and needles waiting for the pet sitter to call and tell me she couldn't get Banana to take his meds - but we heard nothing at 9:30pm and nothing the next morning for the 6:30am dose, either. Very relieved.

Saturday morning we had breakfast in the hotel's nice restaurant. I didn't bring a camera but Benjamin had brioche french toast and I had crab cake benedict, both excellent. We ended up sort of splitting both items because one was sweet and one savory.

Then we went back to the room and relaxed for a few minutes until it was time for our massages. 

The massages were GREAT, definitely the best of my life. Those Umstead people are pros. After the massages we hung out in the therapeutic current pool for a while and then Ben got in the sauna and I went out to the pool and snagged us some chairs in the shade.

You could really tell this was a luxury hotel that serves mostly adults, because every chair was full but there were hardly ever any people in the actual pool. We sat there all afternoon and it was so, so lovely. 

Benjamin was becoming surly about posing for pictures.

Unfortunately, at 2:45 the phone rang. Banana was being terrible and the pet sitter couldn't get anywhere near him. I could hear him growling and howling and hissing over the phone. This is what I'd expected from the beginning so I wasn't too upset - mostly just grateful we did get one night without having to worry about it. I drove home and of course he was his normal sweet self and swallowed the pill in one second. Then I drove back and kept sitting by the pool for another hour or so.

Before we went back to the room, we walked around the lake a bit to enjoy nature.

We had an absolutely incredible meal for dinner at the hotel restaurant, Herons. One of the top meals of my life, for sure. I didn't take pictures because it would have been uncouth, but here are the things we ate:

First Course:

B: Salmon Tartare: Pumpernickel, Quail Egg, Caper Puree, Herbed Mustard

M: Ricotta Gnudi: Ham, Chick Peas, Rhubarb, Buttermilk Veil, Green Garlic 

Second Course:

B: Sea Scallop: Lardo, Nasturtiums, Tapioca, Morels, White Poppy Seed Milk

M: Carolina Quail: Apricot-Lavender Lacquer, Hakurei Turnip, Ramps, Smoked Bacon 

Entree:

Both: Beef Tenderloin: Black Garlic, Twice Baked Espresso Potato, Fava Beans, Port

Dessert:

B: Videri Chocolate Cremeux: Coffee Custard, Cappuccino Foam, Dehydrated Mousse, Violet Gelato

M: Strawberries: Elderflower Blooms, Blue Corn Cake, Tarragon, St. Germain Sorbet 

Plus three different breads with three kinds of butter, and various amuse bouches and snacks brought throughout the meal. And they gave us some sea salt chocolate toffee bark to take home. It was a lot.

Then, naturally, we drove home to give Banana his pill before driving back and going to sleep in our lovely hotel room. Benjamin took one for the team and got up at 6:30am to go back home and do the morning dose. Then we ordered room service breakfast.

We went back to the spa for more time in the current pool, whirlpool, and sauna, and then sadly returned to our normal lives at home. It was the perfect reward for getting through chemo! I want to live like that all the time!

As for Banana, I don't know what's going to happen but clearly this is not sustainable situation. He has a neurologist appointment next week and I'm going to ask about changing to a medication that is only twice a day, because that will open up some options for us to board him. Right now there's only one place in town that is open to do the late night dose, and it's very noisy and chaotic. We put him there over Christmas and he didn't eat the entire time. SIGH. What a pain. CATS.

D-O-N-E

Oh hey, what's up, I'm done with chemo.

!

It's pretty great. This week is the first week since the beginning of March that I'm having to work five whole days, but fortunately I'm so glad to be done I don't even mind. I'm through the worst of my final week's fatigue, and supposedly things will "get better fast," according to my perennially cheerful oncologist. The last week or so I've had a few sore fingertips and still have the dry bloody nose that has been around every day for the past twelve weeks, but it is slowly improving. Other than that, I'm pretty much okay. I am so grateful to have gotten through this without neuropathy, which some people really struggle with a lot even on the weekly dose. I'm continuing to take my glutamine and B-6 supplements until they run out just in case, which will probably be another few weeks.

Now onto radiation! I met with the radiation oncologist last week and will go in for my simulation next Monday, where they measure me and set up the machines to target the area. The doctor told me she's pretty sure I will only have to do 4 weeks, which would be fantastic, although she can't say for sure until after the simulation. Most people say the skin problems with radiation don't really start until after week 3, so hopefully by only doing 4 weeks I will be done before any of that gets too bad. They have a lot of data, she claims, that shows 4 weeks is just as effective as the more traditional 6 to 7 (presumably they adjust the dose to compensate for the shorter time period), and the most recent data shows the results are even a little better. Either way, it sounds like I will be through the active treatment phase by the end of July. Except for Herceptin, obviously, which I will keep getting every 3 weeks until March, but everyone at the Cancer Center claims I will not have any significant side effects from it, and with the regular schedule at least I'll be able to make plans for the future and have a somewhat normal life again.

We are going to Copenhagen in September NO MATTER WHAT.